


True Friends

by Trickster_Angel



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Mass Effect 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28659216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickster_Angel/pseuds/Trickster_Angel
Summary: Shepard takes one day to grieve the loss of her lover. She gets help from her closest friends.
Relationships: Shepard & Garrus Vakarian & Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Thane Krios/Female Shepard, past Female Shepard/Liara T'Soni
Kudos: 3





	True Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this awhile ago and didn't publish it. Reread recently and thought it was pretty good. I'm stuck on editing at the moment so enjoy this to tide you over until my next story comes out.

“Commander,” Traynor started, “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine,” Shepard replied briskly. She didn't want to get into that discussion any more than they already had. 

“With all due respect, ma'am, you just took on a Reaper by yourself and won,” Traynor said, “That either says you're brave or possibly suicidal.”

“I don't wanna talk about this any more, Traynor.” 

“I'm sorry, ma'am. We're all just worried about you.”

“Specialist Traynor is right, Commander,” EDI’s voice echoed over the intercom, “You have been awake for over twenty-four hours.”

“I'll sleep when I'm dead,” Shepard replied. It was probably sooner rather than later.

“But Commander, you haven't had time, well, to grieve. After the coup-”

“People on earth don't have time to grieve. They have to survive. There'll be plenty to grieve once this war is over.”

“One day,” Traynor said, “Take one day. No distractions. No missions. Just do whatever you need to. You're not a machine. You need rest. You have both physical and emotional wounds that you need to heal. Please.”

It didn't take a genius to know that Samantha was right. Shepard had watched Thane die in his bed, after he'd saved the Salarian councillor’s life. It hurt more than she'd tried to let on. And thankfully everyone ignored it. That let her ignore it. If she pretended it didn't happen, maybe she could get through it. 

“Do you know how many people will die in that one day? The fate of the galaxy is resting on me. I can't let anyone down.”

“You will if you don't rest,” Traynor said, “You'll make a mistake without sleep. You need to rest. Please.”

That much was also true. And there were six people on board who were in more danger than most. They were the ones who had to survive, no matter what.

“Alright,” Shepard said, “One day. Starting now. But if anything happens, I wanna know.”

“Of course,” Traynor said. She was smiling and Shepard hated it.

But she went to the elevator and went up to her cabin. She didn't even bother to change, just collapsed onto the bed. And she fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

“Siha.”

“You know it's the right choice, LT.”

“Shepard.”

“Had to be me. Someone else could have gotten it wrong.”

“Shepard.”

“Does this unit have a soul?”

“Siha.”

“I'll await you on Kalahira’s shore.”

Shepard reached for the boy but he went up in flames before her eyes.

* * *

Shepard jolted awake. Her cheeks felt wet. She wiped at them. Had she been crying in her sleep? She could still hear Thane’s voice. 

She looked at the clock, only to see that she'd slept for two hours. That was more than enough. She couldn’t stand to go back to that forest. It haunted her more than her waking hours.

There was a knock at the door. Shepard hoped she looked okay as she said, “Come in.”

The door opened but Shepard saw no one at first. Then Liara strolled in. 

Shepard was a bit worried about this. She and Liara had a relationship before she died, and after Thane, the two were on rocky footing. She hated that they were fighting but she did deserve it. But still, she didn't want to do this right now.

“Did something happen?” Shepard said and got off her bed.

“Everything's fine,” Liara replied, “Specialist Traynor and EDI banned us from your room but I had to come. I wanted to make sure you were alright.” She seemed sheepish about that.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Shepard replied.

She approached Liara.

“Were you crying?” Liara asked gently.

“I'm fine,” Shepard replied sharply.

“I'm worried about you, Allison. We’re all worried. After the coup-” Liara cut herself off. She could tell she was getting nowhere.

“Look, I'm not in the mood to fight with you about Thane again,” Shepard said.

“Allison.”

“Please, Liara, just go.”

Liara looked upset but said, “Alright. I'll be here if you need me.” She left, the metal door resealing loudly behind her. 

Shepard took a breath. She didn't want to deal with that.

* * *

Having time off gave Shepard a great opportunity to check her emails. She had plenty to go through, after all. But once that was settled, she kept going back to the same two. The one Thane sent upon her reinstatement and the one sent after he died. Even as he was dying, he still thought of her and how she'd react. 

Shepard had wanted more time. She knew from the very start that they would have limited time but Kai Leng stole any he might get. And he suffocated to death because of a sword wound. She was going to murder the bastard next time she saw him.

Shepard knew rereading the email, for easily the thousandth time, wouldn't do her any good. Thane was still dead. She had to press on. But even still, her eyes burned as she read it. She just missed him so much.

“Shepard, L.T. Vega is coming to see you,” EDI said, “I could not persuade him.”

“Did something happen?”

“Negative. He just wants to see you.”

“Thanks, EDI. I'll take care of him.” The door opened and Shepard remained in her chair, waiting for James to come into view. 

He looked confused to see her there. “Hey, Lola. EDI told us what's going on.”

“Didn't she also say not to disturb me?” Shepard asked coolly.

“Well, yeah. But I thought you might like some company anyway. Do you-”

“James, I'm not really in the mood right now,” Shepard said, “Please just go.”

He looked disappointed. “Alright, ma'am. Let me know.” He turned around and left the room. The door hissed as it closed.

Shepard hated this. She hated that the man she loved was dead and everyone seemed to want to distract her. She didn't want to be distracted. She just wanted to mourn. No one wanted to just let her mourn. No one had even mentioned it except Liara, but that just led to another fight. Shepard was sorry about what happened between them but she couldn't do it now. Not when it was all finally hitting her.

* * *

In some ways, Shepard was happy not to have perfect memory. As helpful as it was, It was also a burden. To be lost in the sweetest memories seemed wonderful, until Thane was lost in the bad ones. 

Maybe Traynor had been right. Maybe she did need this. But once she allowed herself to mourn, it opened the flood. She wasn't expecting the barrage of emotions and memories to hit her. It hurt more than she'd expected and she'd already exhausted one box of tissues. She almost wished she'd pushed it back. 

The door opened and Kaiden walked in. He stopped when he saw her face but whether it was the swollen, red eyes or the glare that stopped him, she didn't know.

“Why are you here, Kaiden?” She asked.

“I heard about what happened on the Citadel. And I'm sorry.”

Shepard was grateful for his sympathies. But she still remembered that day. Thane gave his life to save a Councillor. Kaidan pointed his gun at her. He didn't trust her and even now, they were only starting to rebuild it. Their relationship was so fragile, she couldn't share this with him.

“Thank you, Kaidan, but I need to be by myself now.”

“Look, Shepard. I know we’re not good friends right now but-”

“Kaidan, I really don't want to do this right now. Please leave.”

“Okay,” he said but he looked sad about it, “If you want someone to talk to.” He left without another word and Shepard was grateful. 

* * *

The next time someone knocked on her door, Shepard was looking at her data pad, watching some videos. It was mostly the filmed sparring matches between her companions while she was still with Cerberus. This one was between Thane and Samara. They were very evenly matched and Shepard enjoyed watching Thane in his prime, or as close to it as she saw. But even when he couldn't leave the hospital, he gave Kai Leng a good fight. And she was proud of that. Thane had been amazing.

“Shepard, Garrus and Tali are at the door,” EDI announced.

“Why are they here?” Shepard asked, shutting off the data pad.

“They want to talk.”

“I don't wanna talk.”

“Just give us a moment,” Garrus said from the other side of the door.

“If you don't want us to stay we'll leave. Just hear us out,” Tali said.

Shepard sighed but said, “Come in.”

The door opened and both walked in. They both had plastic bags full of stuff. 

“We know why you're here,” Tali said, “We know it's because of Thane and we want to be here for you.”

“We brought snacks and drinks, even some you can have,” Garrus said, which actually made Shepard laugh a little. “We knew Thane too, so if you're going to mourn him, we are too.”

Shepard threw her arms around both of them. Her two friends, the ones who had been with her through everything, were on her side yet again.

“Thank you,” she said, “Please stay.”

* * *

“Thane was an amazing sharpshooter,” Garrus, “He was sniping enemies before we had even noticed they were there.”

“Even in close quarters, he was amazing,” Shepard agreed, “He once took out an Eclipse with his bare hands.”

“Do you remember that sparring match he had with you, Shepard?” Tali asked.

“When he knocked the wind out of me?” Shepard replied, “Yeah, I remember it.”

“Didn’t that happen in eleven seconds?” Garrus asked.

“Thirty,” Shepard said.

“No, it was eleven. Jack was timing it,” Tali said.

“She couldn't even read the number she was laughing so hard,” Garrus said.

“Well, after that I took him down,” Shepard said. She remembered that day. She'd swept Thane’s feet and in a tangle of limbs, he'd knocked her down too, so she landed on top of him. Most of her companions had made fun of them for that.

“Because he let you,” Garrus said.

“He did not!”

“Well, you did get him down,” Tali agreed, “but he knocked you down too so you were on top of him.”

“He didn't,” Shepard said, but she wasn't sure if she even believed herself.

“Look, maybe not everyone noticed him smiling when you fell on top of him, but I did,” Garrus said.

“Me too,” Tali agreed.

“You guys are the worst,” Shepard said, and threw a pretzel at Garrus. That was when she realized she was okay. Talking about Thane was sad but Garrus and Tali made it better, reminded her of all the good times and not the end. She took a breath. “Thanks, guys. This really helped.”

“We're your friends, Shepard. We're here for you,” Tali said.

“At this point, we've been through hell and back. We're not leaving now or anytime soon,” Garrus said.

Shepard couldn't believe just how lucky she was. She had two lovers, so many loyal companions, and two best friends. “You both are amazing. Thank you.”

* * *

After twenty-four hours, Shepard returned to work. As she looked at the galaxy map, Traynor noticed a change in her demeanor. 

She didn't seem weighed down anymore. Her step seemed lighter, her back straighter, and she was actually smiling. The short leave seemed to have done wonders for her.

“How are you feeling, Commander?” Traynor asked.

“I'm good,” Shepard said. She didn't sound as tired as she'd been before. “But it's time to get back to work. Joker, take us to Grissom Academy. We're gonna fuck over Cerberus.”

“Aye, aye, Commander,” Joker replied over the loudspeaker.

Traynor looked back at her own screen. She was glad Shepard was okay again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Please leave a kudos or comment if you enjoyed the story. If you'd like to see sneak previews of my upcoming works and get writing tips, please check out my writing blog: a-writing-trickster-angel.tumblr.com


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